It's another race from outer space.

Lately, this blog has been neglected and I have nothing more than the excuse of the winter wonderland weather and my crippling upper respiratory infection to offer as an excuse to its neglect. An apology is extended to you, reader.

Today's technology races ahead with developments of fiber optics and digital conversion. Is it any wonder to think of why we are at the hands of corporate pocketbook foraging and structured pyramids of commission for our compliance and adaptation to its never-ending evolution?

Today at Shop and Save, there was an AT&T kiosk set up for DSL upgrades for $14.99. Being at the mercy of a crippling 56K dial-up connection for five years now is enough to interest me in an upgrade. I spoke with the guy working the kiosk, whose name was Lou. Within the first sentences he spoke, I couldn't help but notice the striking resemblance of his sales pitches and dead-end stories he used in his sales pitch to that of a telemarketer. He used ample amounts of technology jargon, facts and figures and frivolous information about speed and connectivity that leads to confusion and blind decisions of clueless telecommunications consumers every day.

Below are a list of steps that any sales representative should follow to lead to a successful sale and happy consumer:

1. Be yourself. Today's media and world in general is filled with people every day pretending to be something that they are not. Putting on a 'mask' and playing the part of a consumer's friend is probably the most idiotic and self-indulging move you could make as a sales rep. Your job as a sales rep is to sell things to consumers. The consumer realizes that. They are not stupid.

2. Stay relevant to the subject matter. Telling stories about previous consumers and their absolute satisfaction with a product or service you are offering has nothing to do with the actual product or service. If a consumer needs this often useless and fictitious information, they will ask for it. If there were an opt-out button I could press to avoid these stories about 90-year old women getting computers for Christmas and installing their own DSL service, I would have pressed it before your lackluster story even began. You just wasted a minute of the consumer's life that they will never get back. The consumer realizes that. They are not stupid.

3. Price-gouging is not friendly. For the record, statistics show that the majority of telecommunications companies avoid high-priced equipment pitches until the sale is completed. A DSL modem is required for DSL service. At all costs, avoid distracting the consumer with a low-priced service to achieve the sale of a high-priced piece of equipment that is required for the originally low-priced service you are offering. Offering $14.99 DSL at face value and tip-toeing around the $49.99 DSL modem is a poor move on your part; partly because the consumer will receive the bill and wonder where this charge came from and why it was not discussed in the original sale, and partly because you lied to said consumer. Neglecting the consumer's money is neglecting your position with your applicable company. The money received for a product or service comes from the consumer's paycheck and is put towards your paycheck. I don't put your paycheck in question, so don't put my paycheck in question. The consumer realizes that. They are not stupid.

4. Become educated about the product or service you offer. Do yourself a favor and know what you are talking about when selling a product or service. There's nothing more self-degradating than not realizing that the consumer is laughing on the inside because a sales rep is talking about something they about a product of service that is inaccurate. The funny thing is that I previously sold BellSouth DSL upgrades at a telemarketing center and knew that x/mbps upgrades were only speed-efficient when downloading files from a direct source. Avoid running your mouth about page uploads and flash video animation loading times being double and triple the speed of basic DSL packages when there actually is no direct correlation to either/or. If you are unsure of a product or service's benefits to the consumer, avoid pitching them to said consumer until you become knowledgeable about each. You are lying to a consumer when you distribute inaccurate information about benefits that don't exist. The consumer realizes that. They are not stupid.

I have completed this blog using a standard 56K dial-up connection and have no plans in the near future of upgrading to a faster service that AT&T offers. They have dug themself into a figurative hole hiring sales reps that are clueless and hollow-minded.

John