It never occurred to me I can be a dick sometimes. Wow. I've been a dick. I don't know where I get off or what my issues are in my usual non-impressionable brain that I frown upon people that piss me off regularly and tell people that I can't stand others when I am the one who could avoid these seemingly often unavoidable occurrences.
Since when did sucker-punching and tearing apart someone's vulnerable intellect become the softest pillow in society's bed of life? Since when did I become someone that I would not want to talk to if I knew myself outside of my own person? When will I cease this raid on the world at large?
It's now been made clear to me that I can be a dick without thinking certain situations through. I proved it to myself and am somewhat proud that no one offered this advice to me. It assures me that I still have a solid connection with my everyday actions and thoughts.
For those who don't know, I am in this class called CreativeDotComm, which is a pre-entrance into the ongoing chaos of the paradox known as the 'design industry.' In this class we design various ideas for not-for-profit clients like logos, brochures, posters and that of the sort. I have a pretty sweet group, as I am the mentor of my group because I've completed this course two previous semesters in a row. In my group, I have a dude that used to be in the band Calico System, a dude that's opening up a venue downtown in late spring and finally, the notorious boy mystery known as (for code name's sake) Erratic Not-So-Average Joe. Erratic Not-So-Average Joe is someone I never understood. He is loud when he speaks, coughs without his hand over his mouth, doesn't wash his hands and fails to understand even the most mild forms of sarcastic humor. Erratic Not-So-Average Joe lays out on the benches in the hall in between classes and stretches his arms when he gets up, exposing his not so slim stomach. Erratic Not-So-Average Joe defies any practical law of general society, often fades away with frayed ends in social situations and is quite indecisive.
It is apparent that Erratic Not-So-Average Joe is not like the rest of the students in the class and everyone knows it. He would remind some of a bittersweet combination of Napoleon Dynamite and Arnie from 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape' and it's not anything that Erratic Not-So-Average Joe can prevent himself from or pretend not to be. It's just who he is. He is who he is and no one can change this. It would be frivolous and unsounded to think differently.
I am who I am and expect no one to knock on my integrity as a person regardless of my actions, words or appearance. People hate people and make fun of others every day around the world. People make comments that are less-than-par to flatter their character as the person they are striving to be. I don't want to be that type of person. I want to cope with difference and embrace the obvious as if it were the truth in face-value.
When I listen to myself speak, I expect nothing to come out of my mouth that would make me feel like I am being a dick. Today I felt like a dick.
Tomorrow I don't want to be a dick.
John
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4 comments:
Is Erratic Not-So-Average Joe the "Ratatouille" boy?
You're not a dick. Yeah, we shouldn't say much about ENSAJ but the majority of us try to be somewhat understanding of the way he is. I find him entertaining! I agree with you that people are WAY too mean these days. I'm even going to try to be nice to my "group member". I said try.
Haha, yeah. No doubt he is entertaining! I concur!
john, you make me feel like a DICK cause that's the story of my life
documentary: I'm a judgmental bitch
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